I believe myself to be a feminist yes, but there are many feminists who would consider me a traitor and a liar. My beliefs are not anti-porn or women are better than men. My beliefs aren't going to fight to keep every woman in a CEO position if they want to stay home to take care of their babies. My feminism isn't bra burning or all men spurning, it just is. A definition of feminism is: the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes. Is that even possible? Could i take out the word equality and switch it for balance? That would be my definition. I believe women can do great things, I believe that women should be able to get to the top of the corporate ladder without everyone asking who she slept with to get there... I believe that women can be strong and talented and smart and some can be dumb and weak. But I also believe that men can be strong and talented and smart and others can be dumb and weak as well. I don't have clear black and white rules for my feminism (much less anything else I believe in).
I am strong, I am (or can be) independent (living with my mom right now, not so independent in that field), I am smart and funny and fun and I am a feminist and it burns my hide when my mom blanches at the idea of and would never dream of calling herself a feminist. It doesn't have to be as scary as some make it out to be. Or at least that's where I am at right now. But maybe I am wrong, maybe I should be donning some combat boots, putting on some armor, saying goodbye to make up, perfume and cute underthings and hitting the road.
I think what frustrates me the most with this book is everyone wanting the main character to pick and choose from her ideals and telling her it's a bad economy and something that wouldn't make her happy is a great opportunity so she should have taken it. It's too close to home. I get it, the economy isn't great but good lord should that make everyone say goodbye to what they believe and grasp onto anything they can because they are desperate?
I don't have any answers, just a continuously growing list of questions.
5 comments:
i love this.
feminism. i fall somewhere in the middle. i call myself a feminist and i get irritated with people(especially women) who think feminism is a scary term, but i also think hard core feminists wouldnt consider me (a stay at home mom) a feminist at all. which frustrates me because i feel like my people are not very accepting.
when i read Full Frontal Feminism by Jessica Valenti, i was sort of turned off by some of it. for instance she mentions that women shouldnt change their last name when they get married. i mean, really, is this truly an issue worth discussing? if women do or dont change their last name, does it really further our cause?
(oh and for what its worth, when i got married 13 years ago, i never changed my last name. but only because i was too lazy to go to the dmv.)
:)
EXACTLY! I was thinking last night after I posted this and all these questions ran through my mind like: I like having my door opened for me, I like having my dinner paid for and I like being asked out does that mean I'm not a feminist? I get it, we can open our own doors yes, but respect and appreciation of the company you keep is so nice to see in men (or anyone for that matter). To me being a feminist doesn't mean giving up being treated like a queen it just means a balance should be had, I'll treat my significant other like a king no doubt but I also want to be treated like a queen. :)
I think the best thing is just to be who you are, not who anyone else expects you to be. You have your own brand of feminism and that's awesome. I think you can have beliefs and remain fully committed to them without being forced to join any particular group. I'm kinda curious to read this book now, having read your review of it -- I want to know what exactly set you on edge so. But I have the feeling if I did, I might feel the same way. I vote we go write some stories with some main characters we can believe in. It's a start.
Brandi we should write some stories that people can believe in. The book wasn't horrible and it definitely had a point but it just (obviously) made me a little frustrated. The ladies who wrote it were going for a Margaret Atwood feel I think even though it is packaged as chick lit. The main character's name is Girl, the main male's name is Guy, there is a woman named Manley and they are trying to make a point with these names which isn't introduced from the beginning. I dunno, it's just a little strange.
p.s. don't get me wrong, I love Atwood I just have a hard time with a book posing as chick lit trying to challenge feminism and people's ideals.
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