I'm switching over!

So, I've decided today, like just very recently that I am switching over to my new blog clickclickcorey.blogspot.com!
Please please please come follow me there!
It's going to be mostly the same thing but a little more defined and a tad more professional (I'm letting the link go on my resume and such...)

I'm really, really excited! Now all I need is a pretty (and all my own) blog look. That's where the real work is going to come in. :/

I'm keeping this blog for my more personal back entries that I don't want to be without but don't feel are appropriate for the direction I want to take.

P.S. I've only read one lesson of Elsie's e-course and I've already learned so frickin much! I think things are really going to come together very nicely here soon! Best money I've spent in a long time!


<3 C

My Favorite Song Right Now

Rihanna // What's My Name? ft. Drake
Uploaded by AROBAISE. - Independent web videos.

Sorry for the ad, it was the shortest one I could find!

Latest Purchase

Imagine my surprise when I thought I was going to get a poster and instead got this. But I still love it! I know it's backwards (yay photo booth) but this is all I have right now.

I made some more purchases today but those are mall purchases. Like a purse from H&M and the second book in The Dark Tower series. I also purchase a dark purple sweater and a Keep a Breast lanyard. Lastly some supplies for my lil (youngest) sister's birthday. We're going ice skating!!! YAY I can cross that off my Christmas to do list!

Alright, time to work on my list of things to do to get my resume all pretty! Oh yes and I started a new blog about my job search and my photography finds! It's clickclickcorey.blogspot.com take a look if you like!

toodles!
C

my favorite line lately

being a part of something bigger

This is what I did tonight, read a draft of a friend's novel. Her first. It's so very exciting and honestly I couldn't put it down! I read the whole thing in two parts tonight. I was suppose to go see Burlesque with S so I read several chapters before and left it on my pillow open to my place to return home to after the movie. I was sure I would get only halfway through at best. But we missed the movie and after some hangouts I came home and started reading again... I got caught up and I didn't stop until I finished it.

It's so exhilirating to get a chance to be a part of someone's big dream. I'm so stoked I get to be a part and when I was writing my first email of comments I was just so stoked to be able to get to talk to the author or a story I was reading for once. All my questions COULD be answered. To save her story she might not answer everything but just being able to get those questions out there was awesome.

I think I did so well with my communication major because I love collaboration, I love bouncing ideas off of other people and creating a work so great. This work is obviously all hers I'm just glad I get a sneak peak into the writer's mind.

Obviously I am going to say NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING about the story except how wonderful it is and how much fun I am having reading and sharing comments. I can't even imagine creating something like this... how do all of the details come together? I am just in awe really.

So that kicked out any Operation Holiday Cheer plans I had for tonight. I did buy some more holiday cards so I am going to start on that list either tomorrow or Saturday and get some out in the mail asap!

I also had to make a visit to the verizon store because last night without any real warning my phone (Blackberry Storm) decided to give me an Error message of death that would not be fixed. I switched back to my Blackberry Curve and did what I could have the texting issues I was having with it in the past. I'm definitely torn between the two phones. I do like touch screen but I also like the keyboard on the curve... I also am waiting for the iPhone to come to Verizon in January. One can only hope and cross fingers!

I got a call from insurance telling me how much I am getting back after they pay my poor, completely broken car off and it's more than I thought. Good news...

A gentleman friend that had been gone for a while in a distant land (no exaggeration) has come back into my life. I'm hesitant and open at the same time if that's even possible. We had really good times before but I'm also really hurt from the most recent male. He was no gentleman. He was an a-hole. But water under the bridge and what not? I guess.

Now it is my bedtime (really need to start going to bed at 12 at the latest) and so I shall sleep!

Today was another Wednesday with Baby Brows. He's so awesome and amazing. That baby brings so many extra smiles to my day it's almost unbelievable. He has such a personality and I'm just blown away every day by new things that he learns to do.
My favorite thing is how happy and excited he gets with himself when he learns something new. That boy has my heart forever.


As far as Operation Holiday Cheer goes... today I made cookies (didn't have a cookie party). They were sugary and delicious even though they were suppose to be oatmeal chocolate chip. I think next time I won't bother with the pre-packaed cookie mix, they are nothing like homemade cookies. Good, but not excellent. I want excellent when I eat a cookie I baked in a home oven. Picky? Maybe. But we have to draw our lines somewhere don't we?

Tonight's holiday movie wasn't really a holiday movie at all but I looked at my small collection of DVDs and watching it just seemed right.

I think I still consider this a holiday movie because I watched it during Christmas vacation one year with my best lady C. I was really sick the next day (super bad cold or some sort of flu) and after dropping my sister off at gymnastics I bought the movie and the soundtrack and I think it was all I watched for a week or two.

For some reason the winter/holiday season makes me so vulnerable to feeling mushy and needy for affection. I find myself hoping more than usual that I'll find someone to share the holiday (and the New Year) with. It's a dangerous time. I'm very open to attack at this time of year. I'm also very open to possibility. I guess there are pros and cons...

While watching Garden State I decided to get back to work on my blanket. This project is taking me a LOT longer than I thought it would! These squares, though small, still take a long time. I made 2 over the course of the movie. I'm averaging about 45 minutes each then? I feel so slow but I crochet pretty fast. So fast my hand cramps sometimes. I'm use to being able to see the growth of the blanket as I continue working on it so maybe that's why this is getting frustrating.

I have so many things to work on and I feel I have no time. I used up a lot of my time earlier taking naps instead of creating. I don't regret it but there's only so much time in a day.

OOOOOOH! I also finished a book today!

Although I am not racing to the bookstore to get the second book in the series I am really curious to see what happens next AND I will be reading the graphic novels as well as watching the movies (I'm not sure if the movies are out yet but they have been talked about since 2007). More research needed obviously.

Again it's late and I am sleepy but I have so much on my mind.

How many days til Christmas?

Today has been a roller coaster of emotions.  Males blowing me off in a big jerky way and others coming back from deployment. Needless to say I was emotionally exhausted when I got home today but in order to keep myself out of depression I decided to watch a holiday movie and start working on a puzzle I bought recently.

The movie:

Definitely a good cheer up and make the most of it movie. Definitely a chick flick. I'm a sucker for both. Especially when I am feeling down in the dumps which I was when I started the movie.

ALSO!!!

Last night I sent facebook messages to most of my friends requesting their address should they want a holiday card in the mail. I am almost overwhelmed by the response. SO MANY of my friends have sent me their address in the last 24 hours. I'm really excited. I don't even care that I have at least 20 more cards to write now and I have to go buy more. People love getting things in the mail that aren't asking for money and I love putting together letters. WIN WIN!!!

Dear blog readers, if you too want a holiday card email me! I love pen pals and such. 

Holiday Cheer

I'm thinking of recreating the magic of Christmas for myself. I've spent the past few years either stressed or apathetic to the whole shebang and I always feel like I'm missing out. This year I've given it a big more thought, especially after realizing Thanksgiving seemed so hurried and pointless, and I've put together a list of ideas for how to make this season a tad more enjoyable...

I started tonight by watching Elf, definitely my favorite Christmas movie (oops, wrote before I thought, Love Actually comes in parallel to Elf for my favorite). During the movie I started my Christmas shopping list and my holiday cards.

My Christmas shopping list is looking sad right now because I still have no ideas of what to get people but I'll be spending more time really thinking about it this year. I'm thinking etsy will be where I get my inspiration. 

After the movie was over I thought of all of the wonderful things I could do to make this season a little more happy. 

get meaningful gifts and wrap them way before christmas eve

gather around a fire (contained obviously)

See holiday of lights (CHECK!!!)

have a cookie making party

sing christmas carols (maybe, still shy about my singing voice)

watch holiday movies like Love Actually 

watch Season 1 of The O.C. (always puts me in cold/winter mood)

bundle up and drink hot cocoa 

go ice skating (OH BOY I NEED TO!)

finish a blanket OR scarf by christmas

send out holiday cards

take pictures

get pink tree or a picture with one

hang out with good friends

work on new years/birthday 26 before 26 list and continue checking off from 25 before 25 list

make paper snowflakes

make vegetarian gravy

Looks like I'm going to be verrrry busy. Fun, fun, fun!

*all images found via weheartit, vi.sualize.us and google images

What I Did Today...

Went to the fabulous mall and spent some time shopping at Forever 21... found a cute purse, some socks and a couple of rings.

Then came home, read (and attempted to finish before I fell asleep) The Gunslinger by Stephen King. No such luck, the nap won out.

Picked up Baby Brows with Señor Brows from parents of Unicorn Sparkles. 

Came home and had a family night of watching 2 of my favorite shows:

 

Then I retreated to my room and watched my favorite Christmas movie (because I love, love, love Zooey Deschanel) Elf! 

Now I am very sleepy and wish to watch the backs of my eyelids after I feed my very hungry stomach.

Goodnight and happy holidays!

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Sign up here!

I am so beyond excited right now, I just signed up for Ms. Elsie's e-course on blogging. I've been trying to figure out how to improve my blog and I just ADORE, seriously, Adore, her blog so this is perfect. Elsie has been quite an inspiration for me over the past year and I'm just stoked out of my mind that I'm finally able to take one of her courses. Awesome town to the max. So stoked and ready!

Thank you Elsie for being fabulous (and gorgeous to boot)!

Recently Pinned

I LOVE pintrest. If you haven't heard about it, GO GO GO see what it is about! If you have one, ummm follow me please!

So to start off this week with a pretty and positive feel I'm posting some of my recently pinned pretty pictures. Here we go:

Delicious looking rainbow pancakes. I wouldn't even feel weird about eating the green one!

Yes please I want to make these!

I want to visit Las Vegas now. I want to eat here.

more red shade inspiration

I want to snuggle him sooooo bad!

And now to start the day fresh and happy. Have a bunch of things to do. Oh goodness. Positive outlook day 1 here I come!

1. Rainbow pancakes 2. felt alphabet 3. Las Vegas Veggie 4. pretty red 5. snuggle buddy

I DID IT!!!!

closer picture when it is fully healed!

#1 is officially checked off of my 25 before 25 list!
It says: Against the Grain
Done at: Lucky's (Downtown San Diego)
Art By: Thor

Overall experience went a little like this: I had been thinking about Against the Grain as you know considering I posted about it a couple of days/maybe a week earlier. I thought and thought and didn't want to wait any longer so I sent a text to a tattooed friend asking for a recommendation on a really good walk in tattoo shop. If I had been getting my hot air balloons or anything else I would not have done a walk in, but this was basic and I trusted my friend's judgement. He told me about Lucky's so I looked them up and found nothing but great reviews on their Yelp page. Then I went to their Myspace page and looked at the examples of artists' work and was again impressed.
After having a semi distressing talk with the guy looking at my car for insurance I gathered my things and drove into a place I call my driving Hell. Oh downtown I don't miss you. Found the shop, parked the car and walked in a very determined manner in.
Talked to the first guy explaining what I wanted, waited for a second for the script guy (as they called him at first) to come back from break. He came in, I told him what I wanted, he asked if he could show what he would like better, I agreed. I leave art to artists when I don't have all the knowledge I need. He drew up a gorgeous piece and I was sold.
Waited while he set up and was a little nervous, not for the feeling but for my future. I get it, everything changes, and while I know I'm going to be tattooed doing the first one was like breaking a seal that I was a tad afraid to break.
He called me over, I sat down and placement began. We found out I am double jointed in my elbows/wrists (not quite sure which part is responsible for the way my arms can turn) and perfected the placement.
Then it began... whoever says a tattoo is completely painless is lying. I'm not saying it was excruciating or anything close but it wasn't a nice soft lover's touch either. It's like bee stings, or tips of really sharp razors catching your skin, or sandpaper continuously rubbing your skin raw.
The part that kind of surprised me was my lack of anxiety about the needle. It might have been because the needle goes too fast up and down to see but either way I now know that part of a tattoo will never be a problem.
Total it took less than an hour to outline, fill and touch up the writing. I left at the same determined pace as I entered and went on with my night.

Like all big decisions in my life I have been going back and forth about how I feel about this piece. I love it but I wondered if I would always love it. Today (3 days later) I can say that I am completely and totally in love with the piece. I no longer want to worry about how it will affect my future because it won't affect it negatively if I don't let it.

YAY!!! I finally accomplished #1 on the list!!!!

It Is Official

My car is a total loss.

Now what? I get to wait some more for a new department of my crap insurance agency to contact me. I might turn blue from holding my breath on Monday, I probably won't hear from them until next Wednesday or so. I swear this is all a bad joke.

And then? I find a new (to me) car. This is bumming me out. Normally I like all things shopping but when it comes to cars I do NOT. I do not like car shopping because I always, and I mean always, like cars out of my price range. I could go for a 2007-Present Volvo S40 or a 2003/2004 Jetta VR6 or maybe a 2008-present Mitsubishi Lancer... all more expensive than what I think I might be getting from insurance.

So shoot, up crap creek with a very tiny paddle. Do I take this guy to small claims court and figure out the difference in money that I would need to cover the new car? Do I get a car I don't like as much? One of the problems is I was spoiled from the get go. My first car was a brand new Jetta with a sun/moon roof, 6 disk cd changer and it was just my best friend. Probably why I would consider going back to the 2003 Jetta and this time upgrading to the VR6 engine. My second car, may she rest, was a 2010 Corolla Sport. No sun/moon roof but she was gorgeous and I love, love, loved her.

I guess I am just going to have to take my sweet time with this one and really, really do more research. Pretty sure I'm going to need to get a used car.

The part that really tans my hide is that I will still be paying for the totaled car after this is all over. I can either use the money to get a new (to me) car or pay off the loan but if I pay off the loan then what am I going to do to get a new car considering I am jobless (technically) and can't prove an income. Plus, I don't want to be paying payments anymore. At least not any over $200 a month.

So here I am, confused as can be hoping I get a good amount of money to cover this mess.

p.s. I need a job, a fun one that makes me excited to get up every day. One that challenges me. I need a job that won't question tattoos or piercings. I guess I need to start the hard search. Get real deep in it and try real hard.

I'm exhausted just thinking about it all.

a little hello

I've blown it pretty big lately with the daily posts.
I need to go to bed as is so I don't have much time.

I want to say CONGRATULATIONS!!!! to Mrs. Dani on the birth of her beautiful baby boy. Visit her at www.sometimessweet.blogspot.com if you don't already!

And as far as the blanket square count goes I have completed about 8 since last time, 5 today. I just did a total count about 20 minutes ago but I forgot and I'm too lazy to get out of bed. Much apologies, next post will be a little more lively and on track with me.

Wednesday I will get to hear what is going on with my car. Now that I think about it I might not even hear about it until Friday considering the appointment is all day Wednesday so the person could take a look at it before closing if they wanted and then Thursday is Thanksgiving and then Friday they MIGHT get back to me. I hope it will work in a better way where they get there in the morning. That would be a glimmer of goodness in this nightmare of a situation.

Other than that life is normal. I was a little down today due to a couple of things but tomorrow is a new day so we shall see what it brings.

Goodnight!

Sorry for the post barrage, this is my therapy

If you are confident, they will say you are arrogant.

If you are deliberate, they will say you are too sure of yourself.

If you have a sense of purpose, they will say you are self-absorbed.

If you know who you are, they will ask, “Who are you, anyway?”

If you believe in kindness and compassion, they will say you are naïve.

If you are a dreamer, they will say “join the real world.”

If you are a rebel, they will try to shut you down. 

Found here

Line 5 and 6 hit home so hard. I have been called naïve, I have been told to "grow up" and I have been told to "join the real world" all by the same person. I'm not talking about those instances where I cry over spilt milk or forget my age and act out, I'm talking about times where I am speaking about what I believe in and what I believe is right. Said so condescendingly I retreat into my mind and wonder if maybe I've just been spinning myself idealic dreams that are to silly and fanciful for anyone. But then I think over these ideas again and I speak them over with others and I realize, no, I'm not being childish and I am NOT living in a dream world. What I want from people and from a job and from life is possible, I just have to shut out those who've become too bitter. 

Truth be told I don't ever want to "grow up" if it means losing my curiosity or losing my sense of compassion. I will be naïve if it means that people are treated with respect no matter the employment contract. 

I don't want to live in a bitter, resentful, nothing is ever good enough world. It seems like a great waste of such a short time on earth. 

This is what happens when I'm frustrated

Body mods. Clearly this isn't real but I'm almost positive something like it will be by the end of the week. Suck on that nay-sayers.

I love City and Colour.

a bit of a downer

Today was a bit of a downer. My face was rubbed in my lack of money, and I once again realized that I have a college degree and have made no move to do anything with it nor do I have any idea of what I could/would/should do with it.

Anything I've accomplished or done in my life seems really insignificant. I feel really untalented and basically useless overall. I feel like an incredible burden with nothing to offer. I don't know what I want to do, I don't know what skills I have to sell, I don't know how to find a job (mission) that challenges me and keeps me wanting to wake up every morning.

I feel incredibly lost right now and it doesn't help that a member of my family (who has great influence on how I think and feel about myself) says such negative things. It doesn't matter how many nice things other people say, my self measurements were set by him really early in life and I'm doubting I'll find the happiness I'm looking for unless I somehow get rid of his rubric and find my own. I've been through this mental fight over and over and over again and I can't fix anything, when I think of things like "what do I want to do" or "what am I good at" my mind becomes a black void. Imagine a subject you never grasped fully in school, remember that total feeling of empty space, the feeling of logic scrambling in the space where your brain is... that's how I feel when I try to find something positive about myself. My brain shuts down after it kicks the crap out of itself for too long.  The best part is, I always protect the ones that are hardest on me. I say, "oh no, maybe they were right. Maybe I should have tried harder to be a three legged superhero with wings." Obviously this is not possible unless we're talking about Halloween costumes, but for weeks, months possibly even years I will continue to feel like a failure because I couldn't be the success (three legged superhero with wings) that they wanted me to be.

Basically I'm moneyless, car-less, boyfriendless and talentless. I've been told since a very young age that I have no resolve, that I don't stick with things. In all fairness I haven't stuck with any idea very long... but is that because I was told when I quit one thing that I was forever going to quit everything else?

I'm really pathetic right now and feel incredibly stupid because I can't find my own answers. How smart am I? I can't find my own answers, I can't figure out what to do.

The only thing I have going for me right now is my living situation. Unicorn Sparkles, Señor Brows and Baby Brows make me smile even when I'm feeling incredibly shitty. For a second I can forget.

Where is that moment in the movie where I have an epiphany and I know what I have to do to fix myself? I could really use something right now.

There are many many times where against my better judgement I wonder if ignorance really is bliss.

Wednesdays with Baby Brows

And so ends another Wednesday with the lil' man. Lady roommate has requested a name change so they are as follows:
Lady of the House: Unicorn Sparkles
Man of the House: Señor Brows
Lil Man of the House: Baby Brows

As you can see, Baby Brows was in a good mood today which was oh so fun! We tried walking a bit, we ate some yummy foods (I might have snacked on some of his yummy snacks too) and we watched some new (to me) Yo Gabba Gabba episodes. I am so very glad he takes to me pretty well. I'm stoked beyond belief that he's not a baby that cries every time his parents leave, I'm so so glad that we've bonded. He gives me kissies and mashes my face with his hands and sometimes, if I'm lucky he gets reaaaaal close, fakes me out like he's giving me a kiss and yells at the top of his lungs, in my face. Oh babies. 

Maybe next week I'll be brave and venture outside of this house with this bundle of cuteness. I haven't yet because I feel so comfortable at home with him. What if he gets fussy when we go out? What do I do? Honestly he's a really, amazingly good baby I'm just worried as always. I think we'll start with kiddie gym next time. Then go from there.

Well, computer is all out of power. Sleep time!

The blanket...

When I started my blue and pink blanket I just dove right in, head first... started crocheting without planning the final outcome. Today, today I sketched it out and boy oh boy do I have a LOT of crocheting to do.

There is no way that this blanket was going to be finished any time soon if I had been really doing NaNoWriMo... more like NaBlaCroMo National Blanket Crocheting Month... that's what I'm calling it from here on out. 

Instead of posting word counts I am going to post square counts... yes, square counts. 

Total squares needed: 81

Squares Made: 20

oh goodness. Thanksgiving is not going to be about food, oh no, it's going to be about making a blanket! 

20 down, 61 more to go!!!

At first I just wanted a throw but now, as the blanket starts to take shape in my mind I realize I want one that will cover a queen size bed. Finger's crossed this one will be big enough to do just that!

YUM YUM YUM

My next project that I am going to work on is a cooking project. Thanksgiving has crept up on me and I'm going to need to spend some time this weekend and the beginning of next week working on my vegetarian Thanksgiving dishes.

I was inspired to do a few of my own dishes when I started looking for vegetarian gravy. What I've been bummed about the past three Thanksgivings was my lack of gravy on my potatoes. Butter and pepper is good on mashed potatoes but it is definitely not the same.
So while searching for veggie gravy I found Veggie Busicuits and Gravy!

recipe here

That gravy doesn't look like the kind I need for my potatoes though, so I searched more...

recipe here

FOUND SOME! It looks nice and delicious. I'll be able to tell you how it goes after Thanksgiving. 

I want food now.

It is just a thing they say

I must break the cycle and go to bed like now. I just wanted to post because I don't want to keep messing up and forgetting days on my NaBloPoMo November. So here I am.

Today has been sprinkled with worry and frustration once again due to drunkie. We've found the name of the car owner, now I hope tomorrow morning I can confirm with police that it was the same man they arrested, if not there will be even more to figure out. If so we can move on and see if, in fact, he let his insurance lapse. If so my deductible fee is waved (oh goody) and I'm sure a bunch more costs will come my way. After that mess is figured out and all facts are in place I will have to get someone out to look at my damaged car and tell me if it is a) salvageable or b) totaled. Both come with some possible complications... if it is option A then who knows how long I will have to wait to get it fixed AND when I go to sell it in the future how much money will I lose? If option B happens then the possibility of not getting enough money to pay off the rest of the car loan AND get a working vehicle for myself is there. I'm incredibly worried and frustrated with this whole situation. My insurance company (except for maybe one man) is sitting on it's feet and twiddling their thumbs during this. Turns out they won't be able to see my car this Thursday, oh no, they mean Thanksgiving thursday, or maybe that Tuesday, either way someone is yanking my chain around and I don't like it one bit.
If I get the car towed to another place (auto body shop), then I will have to pay the tow yard for the towing, labor and the daily fee for at least 5 days as well as a fee that comes with a car sitting in a lot for over 72 hours. That last fee could run me up to $150. Special. So whether people tell me it's going to be okay or not I'm definitely freaking out. I just have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that I'm going to end up being punished when I did NOTHING and I mean NOTHING wrong. Cars are allowed to be parked by the curb on streets, I drink maybe once a month, I don't drive once I've had said drink, I wasn't driving, I didn't crash into anyone, my car was maybe an inch or two from the curb, way less than a foot, there was no hill so my tires didn't have to be turned, for the most part I got my oil changes on time, AND, big whopping AND, I bought insurance from day one and I paid a good price and still I am getting put on the back burner and treated like crap. They never said in preschool that you would be punished when you were an innocent bystander.

I'm hoping that the worst has past and it will be all better from here on out.
(quick sidenote: they keep asking if a child seat was in the car, if it had been would they be 1- moving faster on my claim and 2- giving me more money? Dang)


no picture today, I apologize.

Never get to sleep on time

Slept a lot this morning/afternoon. I think I forced myself to get up at 2pm but I'm not quite sure. After finally getting out of bed I made some calls and made a teenie, tiny bit of progress on the whole car nightmare.

After dealing with insurance guys and police voice mails I decided to be a bit productive and took myself down to the grocery store in my guy roommate's big ol' truck. I was scared at first but I made it there and back with no scares. Tomorrow is the real test with the freeway and all but somehow I know I will be fine. It must be funny to see lil' ol' me in the driver seat of that truck though. I think I get lost in it a bit.

I for once in a long time made dinner (first meal of my day), I decided on spaghetti with veggie prego sauce, onions, mushrooms and smart grounds fake meat. It was delicious and so was the Diet Coke I had with it. I then sat down to watch Going the Distance which is definitely one of my favorite movies and did a little online craigslist work that I have been putting off for weeks. Sigh, glad that's done for the next 7 days.

After craigslist I started on my fun to-do's and made a couple of squares for my blue and pink blanket. I think I'm halfway done with the squares and I'm really excited about that. Really, really excited. I watched a recorded SNL from this weekend, then the fam came home and we watched as little Seb stood by himself trying desperately to keep balance. It's some sort of magical being a part of these milestones. I'm still no where near wanting a baby but it means so much to me to be a part of his life. I wasn't ready to be amazed by a child's first anything when my siblings' went through their first years.

I finished my few squares watching Gossip Girl and then retreated to my bedroom to collect some pictures I have taken so that I can put together a portfolio with the lady of the house. Both her and O have been sooooooo helpful and great to me. I'm constantly surprised and thankful for everything they've done and keep doing for me. Moving here was truely a step in the right direction.

I had said to myself that I was not to stay up past 12 but look at me, seeing 2:30 am yet again. Waking up tomorrow is going to be painful, but that's what I get.

Now that I've typed it all out I don't think I was AS productive as I could have been but thankfully I did complete some tasks and tomorrow is another day.

and here I shall leave you with a very old picture I took of myself...

goodnight moon

Successful Weekend

I need this

I am soooooo excited!!!
Today Lady roommate and I went to Wal-Mart (somewhere I usually refuse on all accounts to go, but she wanted to) and we bought some new yarn so I could start a blanket for her. She wanted to go with the square idea and have rainbow yarn in the middle. At first I thought she meant picking out the colors of the rainbow and doing a red square, then green, then blue etc etc but she was actually talking about yarn already died as a rainbow (multicolored and as I thought about it I realized 1) it would work and 2) I'd have an extra project idea to work on after I'm done with my three current blankets. (yes three, I went a little crazy)

So tonight, after watching The Walking Dead and cleaning up my once again messy room (I threw everything from my poor car in my room haphazardly that night) and taking a nice shower (I also bought myself new body wash and a loofah) I painted a quick coat of red on my toes and started my sample square.

In the middle of working on the square I decided once and for all to learn some tricks that had been giving me trouble since I started crocheting. Tonight, dear friends, I learned 1) how to properly end a square and 2) how to properly change colors.

I'm so excited, this means if I give myself enough time and start teaching myself other patterns I could potentially sell my blankets! I've never had a craft I could sell!!! Even better part, I can teach my youngest sister how to crochet the proper way. She won't have obvious seams in her work nor will she have knots or obvious (sloppy) transitions. I'm really, really excited!

In other news:
Saturday was a lot of me driving around Encinitas (the roommates let me drive their Prius, fun and interesting little car). I was waiting to meet up with a visiting bestie and while driving around I saw a sign saying "Border's closing sale 30-40% off. I sped across El Camino Real to Border's like a maniac. In Borders I went a tad crazy, I spent a couple hours I'm sure perusing and during that time ran into bestie and her mom. We said hi, commented on the loveliness and confirmed plans of meeting up later that evening for dinner. I then went off and went a bit more crazy. I bought some books (well duh, one of which is The Walking Dead graphic novel volume 1. So stoked to compare and contrast to the story. (and be a graphic novel nerd)
After tearing myself away from Borders I went to Barnes and Noble to pick up a couple of books I could not find before. One to send to lil sis T at college and one that was recommended highly.

Then I met up with a friend I haven't seen in so very long, we'll call him Lil B. We met with C-San Francisco at a delicious food place called Rico's. We all use to be a part of a group in high school and it was so much fun to be reunited again. C-SF and I went to see a movie while Lil B went to see a show. The movie was whatever but the act of going to Rico's, hanging out at movie theaters and driving around Encinitas (and chillin with Lil' B) was so nostalgic of high school and I had such a blast. After the movie we went to LB's house and we demanded to see his room, we wanted to know if it had changed any and then we all talked for 3 hours about so many different things. I admitted a HUGE high school crush on Lil B (we call him Lil' B because he was a year behind us) and we listened to all kinds of music and finally at 3 am I had to call it quit and drive home.

Today was Dad's birthday and honestly I didn't do much before going to dinner. Obviously the start of this entry shows what I did after dinner.

Now I must sleep in preparation for an early morning of chatting nicely with Police officers and their secretaries. Then work. Sigh.

FEEDBACK PLEASE!!!

yeah i went there...

I would love, love, love your feedback dear 7 readers of my blog. (Hopefully there are still 7 of you.) I want to make this a bigger thing but I'm not quite sure how to do it.
I'd love to know how you came across my blog, what made you read it and then what made you keep reading it... anything would be helpful.

I always want to write here but I often find myself drawing a blank when it comes to what I should share. So at the risk of sounding redundant... please please please, what should there be more of? What should there be less of?

Thanks so much.

For a moment or even a couple of hours I forgot.

For a few hours tonight I forgot that my car was not parked outside, that my axle is snapped and that the body of my car near the rear driver wheel is cracked to the point of splitting open and creating a nice quarter inch gap. It was really, really nice.

What I did:
-Drank some delicious sparkling wine (because if it's not from france it's not champagne, or so they tell me).
-Looked at new blogs to add to my read list:
A Fabulous Fete
Elizabeth Hayley
In Every Season
Volume 25
Get the Words Out
-Read my usual blog haunts:
Not Your Average Ordinary
Hula Seventy
Bleubird Vintage
A Beautiful Mess
Skunkboy Creatures
Sometimes Sweet
-Watched a few episodes of Desperate Housewives
- Continued working on my newest crocheting pride and joy...

And now I'm off to sleep. I hope for decent dreams.

Update on my car

Today has been quite an eventful but fruitless day... there was a sobbing breakdown for a good two minutes.

It started with my lady roommate showing me how to use her car (good).

Then things unfolded as such:

-Came back in house to see missed call on phone, called back and gave insurance claim guy info on where my car was. (mediocre)

-He transfered me to a lady to set up an appointment for them to look at the car. It is going to be Thursday. (BAD BAD BAD)

-Got off phone and called mom, she made me realize how unacceptable it was. (Definitely frustrated by this point and tired due to 4 hours max of sleep)

-Called insurance company to see what policy covers in terms of rental car and towing. They cover neither but say I'm fully covered. ("What the eff am I going to do" runs through my head)

-Talk to Dad about whole thing, he says it was police officer's negligence and that needs to be reported to insurance. Also need to get drunkie's info and badger insurance company to get this moving faster. (Now I have new people to call, again frustrated and overwhelmed.)

- Call police department, they can't do anything for me for at least 5 business days they say. (EFF!)

- Call Mom again and again go through discussion about how it's unacceptable on all parts. Get off phone to call insurance claim guy.

- Call insurance claim guy asking what's next and what can be done. Nothing. Not one effing thing until Thursday. If I have drunkie's info I can go through his policy to get a rental car he says but he is not authorized to get me one himself. He's sorry. I call bullshit it in my head. Then he says no matter what happens I still have to pay deductable. I ask how much... $500. Breaking point. I cry quietly until I get off the phone then I double over sobbing for a minute.

-Call mom again not able to fully pull myself together. We talk, she still feels it is unacceptable, OBVIOUSLY MY INSURANCE COMPANY SUCKS A FATTY.

-Talk to mister roommate and he says to go to police department requesting information and just bug them constantly. 

-take a nap so I don't go to police station crying.

-wake up, talk to mad momma bear, get ready.

-Get to police station, overhear a girl with almost the same exact problem as mine. Her car was hit at 12am and the driver was no where to be found. Awesome. From what I hear her tire is as eff as mine looked in the dark. Reps finally get me to pay for report which won't come to me for about 10 days (rad) and tell me to call my officer's secretary.

-Leave office, call secretary, leave message, drive to where my car is being kept. 

-No call when I get to lot. Tell guy at window I want to take pictures. Fill out form releasing insurance to look at car (when they get their lazy, c-sucking butts around to it) then get led to my car.

-Gasp inwardly, it looks even worse in the daylight:

Called police secretary again (no answer), called mom again and gave her all the policy numbers and phone numbers. Rad. Then went to Taco Bell for some food. Called secretary twice more once at home and still no answer. Guess who's getting calls tomorrow...

This is a nightmare. 

I just keep telling myself that it's okay, it's just a thing, this too shall pass, at least I or anybody else wasn't hurt. (Frankly I wish the guy who did it was. But that's mean I guess.) Thankfully I have amazing friends and family to help me out should I need it. I can't imagine not having people around to help if this happened. No rental car for a week? How does one get to work? Really. 

I am amazed at the crappy job done by several people involved.

Just Peachy

As I was about to put my dear computer away for the night I hear a loud bang boom crash and screech of tires. Then, oh then, my car alarm blared.

Dear blog friends, tonight, right after my last post a drunk driver ran straight into my rear left tire (area), clearly he wasn't aiming.
I would just like to say that I parked my car very close to the curb, everything was fine, I did nothing wrong and I was not in the car (thank goodness) but it is incredibly damaged and while I seem fine on the outside I'm pretty upset.

It went a little like this: BANG! SCREEEEEEECH! (CAR ALARM SOUND)
Me: SHIT! Then ran to my window to peak out of my screen, didn't know if I wanted the person involved to see me, kinda thought someone ran the car into the house. See gray car and my alarm going off. Great, I think, it hit me.
Me: (F--K!) Do a momentary chicken with head cut off run to front door to look out peep hole, see if I can see person from other car, maybe do a circle then realize I have to wake up the man of this house. SHIT! Knock on their door, open door, "O, I'm sorry to wake you, someone just rammed the shit out of my car, can you please come outside with me."
Him: Oh shit, yeah. he rushes around for warm clothes
Me: walk circles around front door, hear someone saying "you can't leave, you just hit a car, you can't leave."
O walks up, I open door and rush outside. See across the street neighbors, still hear someone talking to the drunk driver telling him he can't go anywhere. I have O called police, across street neighbors already did. I am quite scared of drunk, not sure if he is violent or not, especially toward owner of car he smashed.

(I would just like to say this picture does the damage no justice, the car door won't open, the nice white line looking thing is actually the plastic completely broken...it messed up the trunk spacing and that tire is bent completely the wrong way.)

Look at car, mini freak out, almost brings tears to my dry dry eyes. Mentally somewhat hysterical but I've been taught to pull it together.
Drunk guy says he's not trying to get away, walks back towards his car, I back toward the house not sure if he's seen me or not. He gets his phone from the car then starts meandering the other way while talking on the phone. Police show up (I've written down license plate, as well as description of his clothes just in case), they catch him (he wasn't going fast being BLASTED out of his mind) then finally an officer comes to talk to me about what is going on.
Hour and a half later of calling insurance office, cleaning out car, having car towed, talking to police, having officer use bathroom, etc etc I am here in bed typing. I want to cry but I can't for some reason. I can't afford this right now.

I would say that nothing like this has ever happened to me and technically it hasn't... but I do seem to have bad luck with cars. I never get in an accident and I've never gotten a ticket (except for parking once at Fullerton) so I don't have that kind of bad luck but this is definitely the third time (third car) I've seen a tow truck take away.

(enter many explatives here)

Some things I've been thinking about instead of going to sleep

- I want to dye my hair crazy colors... aka not so crazy, still in the reds but definitely very similar to hayley williams style. Maybe a tad less bold, most natural like, darker red, bloooonde underneath and streaks of something fun? I miss dying my hair, real bad.

- In line with hair, I want to cut my bangs to be like this:

Yes this picture was used in the last post, forgive me for my reposting...

- I think I want my Shel Silverstein poem tattoo to be in a font like this:

- 

I told you I was wildly inspired by this chick and the work the band creates...

-I want to make a quilt like this:

Luckily I can find the pattern here

I really should save this for another time but I needed to get some ideas down with pictures. Thanks for reading!!!

A constant inspiration

Last month I did the 30 truths and it asked about heroes. I couldn't think of people that I considered to be heroes let alone ones that had let me down. Thinking now I have to say that I had very rudely forgot one of my biggest heroes ever, Hayley Williams. Good news: she hasn't let me down.

I'm going to list some of the reasons why this woman constantly inspires me:
1) She's human and she admits it

2) Her voice is incredible and I will forever be jealous of it (that's what you get on rock band II was my favorite and I'd sing but it was baaaad)

Paramore - Use Somebody (Kings Of Leon Cover) - Live Lounge - Celebrity bloopers here

3) She rocks out so hard (only a small example, oh yeah and on Conan!!!)


4) She transitions from one of the boys to a girly girl amazingly

5) She gracefully avoided a huge blow up with a nude picture leak (personal opinion, she's young and hot and has a boyfriend that she doesn't get to see too often because they are both touring ALL THE TIME, life happens, we're human...only one example of #1)

6) Great, great hair

7) I sometimes think we could look somewhat similar... but that's mostly pipe dreams

I swear I make that face... and that's my hair color almost.. haha

Basically, I think this lady is amazing and probably in writing this post will never be able to be friends. Can people be friends when one write about how amazing the other is on their blog before they know about each other? Creepy? I guess.

Point being: I watch Paramore videos when I'm in a bad mood and always feel at least a little bit better.

My favorite video: