I'm switching over!

So, I've decided today, like just very recently that I am switching over to my new blog clickclickcorey.blogspot.com!
Please please please come follow me there!
It's going to be mostly the same thing but a little more defined and a tad more professional (I'm letting the link go on my resume and such...)

I'm really, really excited! Now all I need is a pretty (and all my own) blog look. That's where the real work is going to come in. :/

I'm keeping this blog for my more personal back entries that I don't want to be without but don't feel are appropriate for the direction I want to take.

P.S. I've only read one lesson of Elsie's e-course and I've already learned so frickin much! I think things are really going to come together very nicely here soon! Best money I've spent in a long time!


<3 C

My Favorite Song Right Now

Rihanna // What's My Name? ft. Drake
Uploaded by AROBAISE. - Independent web videos.

Sorry for the ad, it was the shortest one I could find!

Latest Purchase

Imagine my surprise when I thought I was going to get a poster and instead got this. But I still love it! I know it's backwards (yay photo booth) but this is all I have right now.

I made some more purchases today but those are mall purchases. Like a purse from H&M and the second book in The Dark Tower series. I also purchase a dark purple sweater and a Keep a Breast lanyard. Lastly some supplies for my lil (youngest) sister's birthday. We're going ice skating!!! YAY I can cross that off my Christmas to do list!

Alright, time to work on my list of things to do to get my resume all pretty! Oh yes and I started a new blog about my job search and my photography finds! It's clickclickcorey.blogspot.com take a look if you like!

toodles!
C

my favorite line lately

being a part of something bigger

This is what I did tonight, read a draft of a friend's novel. Her first. It's so very exciting and honestly I couldn't put it down! I read the whole thing in two parts tonight. I was suppose to go see Burlesque with S so I read several chapters before and left it on my pillow open to my place to return home to after the movie. I was sure I would get only halfway through at best. But we missed the movie and after some hangouts I came home and started reading again... I got caught up and I didn't stop until I finished it.

It's so exhilirating to get a chance to be a part of someone's big dream. I'm so stoked I get to be a part and when I was writing my first email of comments I was just so stoked to be able to get to talk to the author or a story I was reading for once. All my questions COULD be answered. To save her story she might not answer everything but just being able to get those questions out there was awesome.

I think I did so well with my communication major because I love collaboration, I love bouncing ideas off of other people and creating a work so great. This work is obviously all hers I'm just glad I get a sneak peak into the writer's mind.

Obviously I am going to say NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING about the story except how wonderful it is and how much fun I am having reading and sharing comments. I can't even imagine creating something like this... how do all of the details come together? I am just in awe really.

So that kicked out any Operation Holiday Cheer plans I had for tonight. I did buy some more holiday cards so I am going to start on that list either tomorrow or Saturday and get some out in the mail asap!

I also had to make a visit to the verizon store because last night without any real warning my phone (Blackberry Storm) decided to give me an Error message of death that would not be fixed. I switched back to my Blackberry Curve and did what I could have the texting issues I was having with it in the past. I'm definitely torn between the two phones. I do like touch screen but I also like the keyboard on the curve... I also am waiting for the iPhone to come to Verizon in January. One can only hope and cross fingers!

I got a call from insurance telling me how much I am getting back after they pay my poor, completely broken car off and it's more than I thought. Good news...

A gentleman friend that had been gone for a while in a distant land (no exaggeration) has come back into my life. I'm hesitant and open at the same time if that's even possible. We had really good times before but I'm also really hurt from the most recent male. He was no gentleman. He was an a-hole. But water under the bridge and what not? I guess.

Now it is my bedtime (really need to start going to bed at 12 at the latest) and so I shall sleep!

Today was another Wednesday with Baby Brows. He's so awesome and amazing. That baby brings so many extra smiles to my day it's almost unbelievable. He has such a personality and I'm just blown away every day by new things that he learns to do.
My favorite thing is how happy and excited he gets with himself when he learns something new. That boy has my heart forever.


As far as Operation Holiday Cheer goes... today I made cookies (didn't have a cookie party). They were sugary and delicious even though they were suppose to be oatmeal chocolate chip. I think next time I won't bother with the pre-packaed cookie mix, they are nothing like homemade cookies. Good, but not excellent. I want excellent when I eat a cookie I baked in a home oven. Picky? Maybe. But we have to draw our lines somewhere don't we?

Tonight's holiday movie wasn't really a holiday movie at all but I looked at my small collection of DVDs and watching it just seemed right.

I think I still consider this a holiday movie because I watched it during Christmas vacation one year with my best lady C. I was really sick the next day (super bad cold or some sort of flu) and after dropping my sister off at gymnastics I bought the movie and the soundtrack and I think it was all I watched for a week or two.

For some reason the winter/holiday season makes me so vulnerable to feeling mushy and needy for affection. I find myself hoping more than usual that I'll find someone to share the holiday (and the New Year) with. It's a dangerous time. I'm very open to attack at this time of year. I'm also very open to possibility. I guess there are pros and cons...

While watching Garden State I decided to get back to work on my blanket. This project is taking me a LOT longer than I thought it would! These squares, though small, still take a long time. I made 2 over the course of the movie. I'm averaging about 45 minutes each then? I feel so slow but I crochet pretty fast. So fast my hand cramps sometimes. I'm use to being able to see the growth of the blanket as I continue working on it so maybe that's why this is getting frustrating.

I have so many things to work on and I feel I have no time. I used up a lot of my time earlier taking naps instead of creating. I don't regret it but there's only so much time in a day.

OOOOOOH! I also finished a book today!

Although I am not racing to the bookstore to get the second book in the series I am really curious to see what happens next AND I will be reading the graphic novels as well as watching the movies (I'm not sure if the movies are out yet but they have been talked about since 2007). More research needed obviously.

Again it's late and I am sleepy but I have so much on my mind.

How many days til Christmas?

Today has been a roller coaster of emotions.  Males blowing me off in a big jerky way and others coming back from deployment. Needless to say I was emotionally exhausted when I got home today but in order to keep myself out of depression I decided to watch a holiday movie and start working on a puzzle I bought recently.

The movie:

Definitely a good cheer up and make the most of it movie. Definitely a chick flick. I'm a sucker for both. Especially when I am feeling down in the dumps which I was when I started the movie.

ALSO!!!

Last night I sent facebook messages to most of my friends requesting their address should they want a holiday card in the mail. I am almost overwhelmed by the response. SO MANY of my friends have sent me their address in the last 24 hours. I'm really excited. I don't even care that I have at least 20 more cards to write now and I have to go buy more. People love getting things in the mail that aren't asking for money and I love putting together letters. WIN WIN!!!

Dear blog readers, if you too want a holiday card email me! I love pen pals and such. 

Holiday Cheer

I'm thinking of recreating the magic of Christmas for myself. I've spent the past few years either stressed or apathetic to the whole shebang and I always feel like I'm missing out. This year I've given it a big more thought, especially after realizing Thanksgiving seemed so hurried and pointless, and I've put together a list of ideas for how to make this season a tad more enjoyable...

I started tonight by watching Elf, definitely my favorite Christmas movie (oops, wrote before I thought, Love Actually comes in parallel to Elf for my favorite). During the movie I started my Christmas shopping list and my holiday cards.

My Christmas shopping list is looking sad right now because I still have no ideas of what to get people but I'll be spending more time really thinking about it this year. I'm thinking etsy will be where I get my inspiration. 

After the movie was over I thought of all of the wonderful things I could do to make this season a little more happy. 

get meaningful gifts and wrap them way before christmas eve

gather around a fire (contained obviously)

See holiday of lights (CHECK!!!)

have a cookie making party

sing christmas carols (maybe, still shy about my singing voice)

watch holiday movies like Love Actually 

watch Season 1 of The O.C. (always puts me in cold/winter mood)

bundle up and drink hot cocoa 

go ice skating (OH BOY I NEED TO!)

finish a blanket OR scarf by christmas

send out holiday cards

take pictures

get pink tree or a picture with one

hang out with good friends

work on new years/birthday 26 before 26 list and continue checking off from 25 before 25 list

make paper snowflakes

make vegetarian gravy

Looks like I'm going to be verrrry busy. Fun, fun, fun!

*all images found via weheartit, vi.sualize.us and google images

What I Did Today...

Went to the fabulous mall and spent some time shopping at Forever 21... found a cute purse, some socks and a couple of rings.

Then came home, read (and attempted to finish before I fell asleep) The Gunslinger by Stephen King. No such luck, the nap won out.

Picked up Baby Brows with Señor Brows from parents of Unicorn Sparkles. 

Came home and had a family night of watching 2 of my favorite shows:

 

Then I retreated to my room and watched my favorite Christmas movie (because I love, love, love Zooey Deschanel) Elf! 

Now I am very sleepy and wish to watch the backs of my eyelids after I feed my very hungry stomach.

Goodnight and happy holidays!

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Sign up here!

I am so beyond excited right now, I just signed up for Ms. Elsie's e-course on blogging. I've been trying to figure out how to improve my blog and I just ADORE, seriously, Adore, her blog so this is perfect. Elsie has been quite an inspiration for me over the past year and I'm just stoked out of my mind that I'm finally able to take one of her courses. Awesome town to the max. So stoked and ready!

Thank you Elsie for being fabulous (and gorgeous to boot)!

Recently Pinned

I LOVE pintrest. If you haven't heard about it, GO GO GO see what it is about! If you have one, ummm follow me please!

So to start off this week with a pretty and positive feel I'm posting some of my recently pinned pretty pictures. Here we go:

Delicious looking rainbow pancakes. I wouldn't even feel weird about eating the green one!

Yes please I want to make these!

I want to visit Las Vegas now. I want to eat here.

more red shade inspiration

I want to snuggle him sooooo bad!

And now to start the day fresh and happy. Have a bunch of things to do. Oh goodness. Positive outlook day 1 here I come!

1. Rainbow pancakes 2. felt alphabet 3. Las Vegas Veggie 4. pretty red 5. snuggle buddy

I DID IT!!!!

closer picture when it is fully healed!

#1 is officially checked off of my 25 before 25 list!
It says: Against the Grain
Done at: Lucky's (Downtown San Diego)
Art By: Thor

Overall experience went a little like this: I had been thinking about Against the Grain as you know considering I posted about it a couple of days/maybe a week earlier. I thought and thought and didn't want to wait any longer so I sent a text to a tattooed friend asking for a recommendation on a really good walk in tattoo shop. If I had been getting my hot air balloons or anything else I would not have done a walk in, but this was basic and I trusted my friend's judgement. He told me about Lucky's so I looked them up and found nothing but great reviews on their Yelp page. Then I went to their Myspace page and looked at the examples of artists' work and was again impressed.
After having a semi distressing talk with the guy looking at my car for insurance I gathered my things and drove into a place I call my driving Hell. Oh downtown I don't miss you. Found the shop, parked the car and walked in a very determined manner in.
Talked to the first guy explaining what I wanted, waited for a second for the script guy (as they called him at first) to come back from break. He came in, I told him what I wanted, he asked if he could show what he would like better, I agreed. I leave art to artists when I don't have all the knowledge I need. He drew up a gorgeous piece and I was sold.
Waited while he set up and was a little nervous, not for the feeling but for my future. I get it, everything changes, and while I know I'm going to be tattooed doing the first one was like breaking a seal that I was a tad afraid to break.
He called me over, I sat down and placement began. We found out I am double jointed in my elbows/wrists (not quite sure which part is responsible for the way my arms can turn) and perfected the placement.
Then it began... whoever says a tattoo is completely painless is lying. I'm not saying it was excruciating or anything close but it wasn't a nice soft lover's touch either. It's like bee stings, or tips of really sharp razors catching your skin, or sandpaper continuously rubbing your skin raw.
The part that kind of surprised me was my lack of anxiety about the needle. It might have been because the needle goes too fast up and down to see but either way I now know that part of a tattoo will never be a problem.
Total it took less than an hour to outline, fill and touch up the writing. I left at the same determined pace as I entered and went on with my night.

Like all big decisions in my life I have been going back and forth about how I feel about this piece. I love it but I wondered if I would always love it. Today (3 days later) I can say that I am completely and totally in love with the piece. I no longer want to worry about how it will affect my future because it won't affect it negatively if I don't let it.

YAY!!! I finally accomplished #1 on the list!!!!

It Is Official

My car is a total loss.

Now what? I get to wait some more for a new department of my crap insurance agency to contact me. I might turn blue from holding my breath on Monday, I probably won't hear from them until next Wednesday or so. I swear this is all a bad joke.

And then? I find a new (to me) car. This is bumming me out. Normally I like all things shopping but when it comes to cars I do NOT. I do not like car shopping because I always, and I mean always, like cars out of my price range. I could go for a 2007-Present Volvo S40 or a 2003/2004 Jetta VR6 or maybe a 2008-present Mitsubishi Lancer... all more expensive than what I think I might be getting from insurance.

So shoot, up crap creek with a very tiny paddle. Do I take this guy to small claims court and figure out the difference in money that I would need to cover the new car? Do I get a car I don't like as much? One of the problems is I was spoiled from the get go. My first car was a brand new Jetta with a sun/moon roof, 6 disk cd changer and it was just my best friend. Probably why I would consider going back to the 2003 Jetta and this time upgrading to the VR6 engine. My second car, may she rest, was a 2010 Corolla Sport. No sun/moon roof but she was gorgeous and I love, love, loved her.

I guess I am just going to have to take my sweet time with this one and really, really do more research. Pretty sure I'm going to need to get a used car.

The part that really tans my hide is that I will still be paying for the totaled car after this is all over. I can either use the money to get a new (to me) car or pay off the loan but if I pay off the loan then what am I going to do to get a new car considering I am jobless (technically) and can't prove an income. Plus, I don't want to be paying payments anymore. At least not any over $200 a month.

So here I am, confused as can be hoping I get a good amount of money to cover this mess.

p.s. I need a job, a fun one that makes me excited to get up every day. One that challenges me. I need a job that won't question tattoos or piercings. I guess I need to start the hard search. Get real deep in it and try real hard.

I'm exhausted just thinking about it all.

a little hello

I've blown it pretty big lately with the daily posts.
I need to go to bed as is so I don't have much time.

I want to say CONGRATULATIONS!!!! to Mrs. Dani on the birth of her beautiful baby boy. Visit her at www.sometimessweet.blogspot.com if you don't already!

And as far as the blanket square count goes I have completed about 8 since last time, 5 today. I just did a total count about 20 minutes ago but I forgot and I'm too lazy to get out of bed. Much apologies, next post will be a little more lively and on track with me.

Wednesday I will get to hear what is going on with my car. Now that I think about it I might not even hear about it until Friday considering the appointment is all day Wednesday so the person could take a look at it before closing if they wanted and then Thursday is Thanksgiving and then Friday they MIGHT get back to me. I hope it will work in a better way where they get there in the morning. That would be a glimmer of goodness in this nightmare of a situation.

Other than that life is normal. I was a little down today due to a couple of things but tomorrow is a new day so we shall see what it brings.

Goodnight!

Sorry for the post barrage, this is my therapy

If you are confident, they will say you are arrogant.

If you are deliberate, they will say you are too sure of yourself.

If you have a sense of purpose, they will say you are self-absorbed.

If you know who you are, they will ask, “Who are you, anyway?”

If you believe in kindness and compassion, they will say you are naïve.

If you are a dreamer, they will say “join the real world.”

If you are a rebel, they will try to shut you down. 

Found here

Line 5 and 6 hit home so hard. I have been called naïve, I have been told to "grow up" and I have been told to "join the real world" all by the same person. I'm not talking about those instances where I cry over spilt milk or forget my age and act out, I'm talking about times where I am speaking about what I believe in and what I believe is right. Said so condescendingly I retreat into my mind and wonder if maybe I've just been spinning myself idealic dreams that are to silly and fanciful for anyone. But then I think over these ideas again and I speak them over with others and I realize, no, I'm not being childish and I am NOT living in a dream world. What I want from people and from a job and from life is possible, I just have to shut out those who've become too bitter. 

Truth be told I don't ever want to "grow up" if it means losing my curiosity or losing my sense of compassion. I will be naïve if it means that people are treated with respect no matter the employment contract. 

I don't want to live in a bitter, resentful, nothing is ever good enough world. It seems like a great waste of such a short time on earth. 

This is what happens when I'm frustrated

Body mods. Clearly this isn't real but I'm almost positive something like it will be by the end of the week. Suck on that nay-sayers.

I love City and Colour.

a bit of a downer

Today was a bit of a downer. My face was rubbed in my lack of money, and I once again realized that I have a college degree and have made no move to do anything with it nor do I have any idea of what I could/would/should do with it.

Anything I've accomplished or done in my life seems really insignificant. I feel really untalented and basically useless overall. I feel like an incredible burden with nothing to offer. I don't know what I want to do, I don't know what skills I have to sell, I don't know how to find a job (mission) that challenges me and keeps me wanting to wake up every morning.

I feel incredibly lost right now and it doesn't help that a member of my family (who has great influence on how I think and feel about myself) says such negative things. It doesn't matter how many nice things other people say, my self measurements were set by him really early in life and I'm doubting I'll find the happiness I'm looking for unless I somehow get rid of his rubric and find my own. I've been through this mental fight over and over and over again and I can't fix anything, when I think of things like "what do I want to do" or "what am I good at" my mind becomes a black void. Imagine a subject you never grasped fully in school, remember that total feeling of empty space, the feeling of logic scrambling in the space where your brain is... that's how I feel when I try to find something positive about myself. My brain shuts down after it kicks the crap out of itself for too long.  The best part is, I always protect the ones that are hardest on me. I say, "oh no, maybe they were right. Maybe I should have tried harder to be a three legged superhero with wings." Obviously this is not possible unless we're talking about Halloween costumes, but for weeks, months possibly even years I will continue to feel like a failure because I couldn't be the success (three legged superhero with wings) that they wanted me to be.

Basically I'm moneyless, car-less, boyfriendless and talentless. I've been told since a very young age that I have no resolve, that I don't stick with things. In all fairness I haven't stuck with any idea very long... but is that because I was told when I quit one thing that I was forever going to quit everything else?

I'm really pathetic right now and feel incredibly stupid because I can't find my own answers. How smart am I? I can't find my own answers, I can't figure out what to do.

The only thing I have going for me right now is my living situation. Unicorn Sparkles, Señor Brows and Baby Brows make me smile even when I'm feeling incredibly shitty. For a second I can forget.

Where is that moment in the movie where I have an epiphany and I know what I have to do to fix myself? I could really use something right now.

There are many many times where against my better judgement I wonder if ignorance really is bliss.

Wednesdays with Baby Brows

And so ends another Wednesday with the lil' man. Lady roommate has requested a name change so they are as follows:
Lady of the House: Unicorn Sparkles
Man of the House: Señor Brows
Lil Man of the House: Baby Brows

As you can see, Baby Brows was in a good mood today which was oh so fun! We tried walking a bit, we ate some yummy foods (I might have snacked on some of his yummy snacks too) and we watched some new (to me) Yo Gabba Gabba episodes. I am so very glad he takes to me pretty well. I'm stoked beyond belief that he's not a baby that cries every time his parents leave, I'm so so glad that we've bonded. He gives me kissies and mashes my face with his hands and sometimes, if I'm lucky he gets reaaaaal close, fakes me out like he's giving me a kiss and yells at the top of his lungs, in my face. Oh babies. 

Maybe next week I'll be brave and venture outside of this house with this bundle of cuteness. I haven't yet because I feel so comfortable at home with him. What if he gets fussy when we go out? What do I do? Honestly he's a really, amazingly good baby I'm just worried as always. I think we'll start with kiddie gym next time. Then go from there.

Well, computer is all out of power. Sleep time!

The blanket...

When I started my blue and pink blanket I just dove right in, head first... started crocheting without planning the final outcome. Today, today I sketched it out and boy oh boy do I have a LOT of crocheting to do.

There is no way that this blanket was going to be finished any time soon if I had been really doing NaNoWriMo... more like NaBlaCroMo National Blanket Crocheting Month... that's what I'm calling it from here on out. 

Instead of posting word counts I am going to post square counts... yes, square counts. 

Total squares needed: 81

Squares Made: 20

oh goodness. Thanksgiving is not going to be about food, oh no, it's going to be about making a blanket! 

20 down, 61 more to go!!!

At first I just wanted a throw but now, as the blanket starts to take shape in my mind I realize I want one that will cover a queen size bed. Finger's crossed this one will be big enough to do just that!

YUM YUM YUM

My next project that I am going to work on is a cooking project. Thanksgiving has crept up on me and I'm going to need to spend some time this weekend and the beginning of next week working on my vegetarian Thanksgiving dishes.

I was inspired to do a few of my own dishes when I started looking for vegetarian gravy. What I've been bummed about the past three Thanksgivings was my lack of gravy on my potatoes. Butter and pepper is good on mashed potatoes but it is definitely not the same.
So while searching for veggie gravy I found Veggie Busicuits and Gravy!

recipe here

That gravy doesn't look like the kind I need for my potatoes though, so I searched more...

recipe here

FOUND SOME! It looks nice and delicious. I'll be able to tell you how it goes after Thanksgiving. 

I want food now.