Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Portland, despite our differences I love you




This was taken on what was probably one of the best, and delightfully fun days of my life. It started with snow, it ended with snow, the middle there was snow too. B, N & I galavanted around Hawthorne town, back to Belmont and all around that day. Traipsing through the crunchy top snow with happiness in our hearts. Snow balls were thrown, glasses were worn to keep snow out of eyes, it was amazing. That night we ventured back out to hit up the plaid pantry for some candy and we found an abandoned cart. It's really hard to drive those shopping carts through the snow. I had a pocket full of hot tamales, the street had trees full of snow. We laughed until we couldn't feel our toes. Wet from melted snow we finally made it back home.
I'll never forget that day.

I miss Portland so much. I'm reading all of the facebook updates of snow, seeing pictures on the status bar. It makes me ache to be back there.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Pain is having to return a pretty sweater because I'm poor


Found @ Tiger Momma


Something I am going to have to live by and remember this next year.

Wear Sunscreen


Image found on We Heart It I believe


The following was found over at Not Your Average Ordinary

“Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you’re 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.”

- Kurt Vonnegut, Commencement Address to MIT Class of 1997

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Lost in Higher Thought


Bariloche, Argentina. My favorite view.
Today I spent my time awake shopping and finishing Dharma Punx. I added a nice jacked for cheap to my closet, a beautiful sweater for about 5x the amount of the jacket :/ a watch necklace a couple more colors of tank tops, a nautical blue and white long shirt scrunched at the sides, a 1" curling iron and a beautiful leaf bracelet. I'm a happy, happy girl. My bank account is not as happy. She will survive though. Most things I bought today were items that have been on my mental wish list for a while now.
Oh yes, and in the morning before I left for the shops I finally invested in Suicide Girls: Beauty Redefined. SFC came over last night with her man and we joked about how soon I would have enough books to make up an Sex and Media Library. We talked about how I could get my Masters studying erotica, burlesque, the art of the strip tease etc. I realized later that if I did I would be following in the footsteps of one of my favorite instructors. That wouldn't be such a bad thing to study.

When I came home from a day full of walking and crowds I burrowed under my new comfy blanket and finished the second half of my book. Dharma Punx left me with a feeling similar to the one I had when I was reading Eat, Pray, Love. I am constantly brought back to a 5 second memory of me laying in bed in the basement apartment reading Ishmael for the second time while it was raining outside. My room at the time was a dark cavern, the window covered with an old sheet so people walking by couldn't see down in. I have this feeling of searching for peace and contentment in myself and so I talk to people, I read, I sit and attempt to listen but I have yet to find my path. Ballet was the closest thing that I had to utter devotion. I understand it is not a religion but it is a discipline and I loved it. Sometimes I feel the infinite, the expanse of possibility during a song when beats and chords collide. The place that never fails to leave me feeling full of the infinite is the ocean. In the middle all you can feel is what is around you.

Needless to say I am a little caught up in thought. Mulling things over yet again. I've become obsessed with Buddhism, mindfulness and pilgrimages to foreign countries. I appreciate these peoples' interest in Asia but I know that if I were to go away to work deeper into my mind I would end up back in Argentina. The country has beauty unlike that I have ever seen. I wanted to go back the day I left. Emily Haines of Metric went there to collect herself and wrote the latest album. Brilliant.

I am in love with Anya Marina's cover of "Whatever You Like." I've seen her play it twice while I was working at HOB and then I was shocked to hear it playing during the threesome scene on Gossip Girl. The song has such an erie beauty to it.

I think I'm done with my flowing typing for now. Goodnight.

Christmas and sleepy kitten

Yesterday was a whirlwind of a day. So crazy. Here, there and everywhere.
First, woke up early as I could, made it to Dad's at 8:40am. Sister wasn't awake yet so I went in her room and laid on top of her saying Merry Christmas in her ear. She put her arm around me and gave me a hug then finally opened her eyes. That was probably my favorite moment of Christmas. We then waited until 9:30am for brother to get his ish together and stop being hung over and make it over to the house. We opened presents and talked a little bit then Dad went off to get ready for a bike ride, Brother went back to his apartment, Sister went to her room to try on stuff and sMom went to clean dishes or something. I then drove to Mom's house, the kids ran inside, we opened presents, Grand and Gramps made it over, Gramps with a black eye and lip. (He swears it wasn't Grand... I guess she is looking a little frail these days :( so it probably was the chair like he said it was. After that circus of paper and color I made my way back home to get ready for my 2+ hour drive to Thousand Oaks area. Before I can leave the house I try to yell to one of the roommates and end up choking on a chocolate I had just started to eat. That freaked me out a bit... but off I went anyway.
Made it to the family get together up yonder and settled in for a couple of hours of talking with family I did and didn't know, stayed by the fire and relaxed. Found myself with a relatively healthy dinner and then shortly after worked on saying my goodbyes to head back home. Got in the car about 7:30pm and made it back to Mom's house at 10:00pm. Let the dog out, then tucked him in and set off on another journey, this time I headed downtown.
Once downtown I made a quick (and I mean minutes) stop to see my lady S, then drove a block north to the hotel a friend from Canada was staying at for the night. Canada, his sidekick for the night and I grabbed some Jack in the Crack and made our way to the bay to eat and catch up. We became distracted by a movement in the water and the Canadians asked if it could be a shark. I decided it was very likely not but they wanted it so bad I finally said it just might be. The swimming things came back, sidekick threw a rock in the water and the swimming figures flew away. Our sharks had quickly become birds.
Overall I would say Christmas was very successful. I spent good time with family and friends from far away. I scored way more than I even thought possible on gifts from everyone and I'm so grateful.
I'm currently curled up with the house cat in my bed underneath possibly the best blanket ever and I'm ready to go back to sleep even though I've been awake 10 hours at the most.



I tried to make it turn the right way but it's just not cooperating at the moment. sorry.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Just watched Brothers. Emotionally intense movie. So many heartaches in two hours. I came away strong but broke down on the 5 minute car ride home. I wish I had come home to an empty house so I could detox on the negative emotions I've been bottling for the past couple of weeks. But nothing ever works like that.

Gotta go.

Monday, December 21, 2009

a girl can dream right?!

What I love but could not afford even if I tried hard: