Smile, Smile til it hurts

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I literally took a deep deep breath before I started typing this post, before I jumped in. I've started publicly announcing (twitter and facebook) that I am moving to Portland between October 14th and 21st. 
Why the deep breath? Well, I'm going to have to get really REALLY creative on how to get enough money to pay all my bills between now and then, feed myself AND get all of my stuff up there. 


The feat that I am attempting in the next month and some odd days is going to require hard work, self restraint and positivity. Because of this I may be shutting out a lot of the outside world. By that I mean I'm going to be turning off my mind to negative things coming out of other people's mouths. I've been weighed down by it the last (um forever) and I can't do it anymore. I want to find a balance but until I do I will be slapping a silly smile on my face and telling myself despite anything and everything I can do what I need to do.


So there's that. 


Sleep needs to find me earlier in the night from now on. Seriously.

I have a decision to make and though I'm pretty sure it's already made I have about a week before I make my final 100% in decision. I'm going to be moving. Not to Nashville yet, I'm not ready for that step quite yet but either back into a friend's house or up north again.

At this point in time the Northwest seems like the best step towards the next 5 years. I want to 1) go to Argentina for 4-6 months and learn photography basics as well as vastly improve my Spanish 2) start my photo career (even if just as a side business at first) 3) move to Nashville or one of the Carolinas and 4) fully invest myself in my career path by the age of 30.

This is the farthest forward I've been able to think EVER in my life. NEVER have I been able to see what I want in the next 5 years. Maybe because I've always thought I had so much time, but time is really not as endless as it seems as a child. Things start catching up, and while I'm not sad to grow older and experience different stages of my life I want to make sure that I appreciate the time I have in each stage. I spent most of my childhood wanting to be older and wiser... now I'm working on taking things as they are.

So Portland or San Diego... I guess the decision will be set in stone by September 6th.

Exciting, scary and definitely anxiety inducing.

The cutest kitten on the web. Surprise Kitten!

I've been MIA for a bit here and I apologize profusely. I went to Portland for about a week and it was a wonderful trip. Now I'm back at the office, I'm all caught up but my room at home is quite a mess.
I would love to blame it on my lack of unpacking but that is not the case. As soon as I came back from Portland I was recruited to watch my parent's house which was an opportunity I jumped on real fast. It was glorious, like staying in a HUGE, food stocked hotel where I could do my own laundry. I guess if I had my laundry done for me it would have been even better but I'm not looking a prize horse in the mouth.
House sitting took up most of my weekend, and a new boy :) took up the rest. He's also taken up all of my free time Monday and my free time tonight so my room has suffered.
The best part: I'm going to be moving May 1st. I will be moving into my Mom's house in her extra bedroom to save money and work on paying off my credit card. Should be interesting to say the least.
The very least.

Other than all that, life has been pretty good. I'm REALLY sleepy and wish for a nap but alas it cannot be.

I'll be back to my regular updates now. I'm sorry I slacked off.

<3

Friends Make Life Worth Living

My Heart Aches, 43 days left

Life Starts Here

Life did start there. I love that store almost more than life itself. I miss the wandering days.

Obsession

I cannot, absolutely just can. not. stop thinking about tattoos. It was bad before, then I went to my second roller derby, then I met a boy at said roller derby, while dating said boy he procured himself a new tattoo... the itch for color in skin grew. Then one night we watched LA Ink for hours on end... it's all downhill now, then I bought Kat Von D's book... Oh goodness. I'm lost forever and there's no digging me out. This want just won't stop.

I have the perfect idea for my Portland trip. I've wanted fall color leaves for a while, now I've discovered the placement and layout. I'm so excited. I must must must find money for this, I must must must schedule an appointment during my vacation, I must must must come back with some color and I'm not talking the skin cancer kind.

Research/ Color inspiration:





Found using Google Images

I have to find my artist, I have to find my time, I have to find the money. I'm so excited

Excitement!!!!

So today during lunch I purchased my plane tickets to get myself back up to Portland for a visit. It's been about 8 months, maybe more and I've been going crazy to be back up there.

I'm so excited. I was almost jumping up and down. Almost, but I decided that was unprofessional.

I'm going to go to my favoritest place EVER: Powell's. And I'm going to eat delicious vegan food. And some not so vegan food, but mostly vegan food. I'm going to Voodoo Donuts and Muy Thai by where I use to live and Nicholas's Meditteranean food and oh my goodness. So excited. I'm literally starting the countdown today...

50 days left, 51 including today but it's half done so I'm going to let this day slide :)

Birthday Sooooon!

Pretty Please with Sugar on Top!

As of today it is exactly a month til my lovely little birthday. What will I do? So many options but what I really want to do is get up bum up to Portland. Up there I want to get my tattoo. Not sure I'll have nearly enough money to do this by then but here's to crossed fingers and high hopes.

I would really love this necklace. I'd take the money for a tattoo and a plane ticket first of course... but if there was something else to get this would be it for sure!

Sometimes you win, sometimes you don't

Sometimes what you need to nix a day full of icky feelings and sadness is a good night of plans with friends. That's exactly what I have. Well today (and yesterday) we filled with those icky feelings, but tonight is filled with watching Whip It (I love Roller Derby, definitely my new obsession) and relaxing at a friend's house. Home isn't feeling like home the past couple of days so having somewhere else to go is nice to.

In other news... found on You Are My Fave

This adorable skirt... Anthropologie

AND...


this gorgeous jacket can be found at Boden USA.

Too bad I'm broker than broke. It's all good though, I am broke because I bought this lovely:


Seriously my new bestest friend.

Still hoping for Portland for my birthday but I may have to push it back a bit.
Goodness I miss you Portland friends and weather.

Portland, despite our differences I love you

This was taken on what was probably one of the best, and delightfully fun days of my life. It started with snow, it ended with snow, the middle there was snow too. B, N & I galavanted around Hawthorne town, back to Belmont and all around that day. Traipsing through the crunchy top snow with happiness in our hearts. Snow balls were thrown, glasses were worn to keep snow out of eyes, it was amazing. That night we ventured back out to hit up the plaid pantry for some candy and we found an abandoned cart. It's really hard to drive those shopping carts through the snow. I had a pocket full of hot tamales, the street had trees full of snow. We laughed until we couldn't feel our toes. Wet from melted snow we finally made it back home.
I'll never forget that day.

I miss Portland so much. I'm reading all of the facebook updates of snow, seeing pictures on the status bar. It makes me ache to be back there.