That would have to be my math teacher in seventh grade. She started the year off showing her disdain for me when calling roll on the first day. "Oh, so YOU'RE C, well Mrs. P just thinks the WOOOORLD of you." Don't be mistaken, she wasn't saying it very nice. I was confused considering I had NEVER at that point, met a teacher that didn't like me. But there I was, in the middle of the most awkward stage of my life, soaking up as many insecurities as possible in front of all the boys I thought were cute and she just added one more. Great.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
T. T was a boy (not quite 18 when I was 19 I think) that I dated for a short while. He was the first boy I really made out with. He was my first lust and genuine heartbreak. Serious, serious heartbreak. I didn't pick up on the warning signs our first night meeting, I was too busy just being happy that a boy I was interested in was showing interest back. Don't worry, he wasn't an abuser, at least not to me. He was however an abuser to himself. I guess when he was younger, way before I met him he had been a bit chunky and so up to the time that I met him he had starved himself basically. Sometimes he ate but there was definitely an eating disorder in the works among other illnesses. T was depressed and I thought I could help by talking to him and showing him I adored him. I really, really adored him. One night I get a text saying he's bleeding and dizzy and doesn't know what's going on. I keep texting but get nothing back. It was late and I was out with friends and T lived over an hour away. I felt powerless. The next day I still heard nothing, I tried to call, I text some more... nothing. That night I cried because I knew something was horribly wrong and I just remember begging anything out there that he was alive because part of me felt like he wasn't. The next morning FINALLY I got a text saying solely "I messed up. I'm sorry." I called, no answer. He text saying his mom wouldn't talk yet but he was in the hospital. Eventually the story came out. He went to a party that night of the horrible text, he had a fifth of vodka and a generous handful of somas... he took his pocket knife that his stepdad had given him and somehow cut himself pretty good. His mom found him the next morning on a whim, she never use to check on him before leaving for work but for some reason she did that day. She found him barely breathing and when the doctors got a look at him they had said if it had waited much longer, minutes not hours, he would have been gone. I cried, and cried, and cried. We said I love you back and forth, me with as much conviction as possible because I wanted him to feel it when I said it, I wanted him to know that someone was there for him.
Things after that got worse and worse. Luckily not for his life, but for our relationship. I stopped hearing from him after a while and I guess he got a girlfriend that didn't work out. I would try to reach out every once in a while to show him I wasn't ever going to give up on him but I'm not sure that mattered. It still stings a bit to think about. The last I talked to him things were going well and I guess in the end that's all I could really ask for. I wish I still had a way to talk to him but I don't and I guess I should let that episode in my life be done.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
It is amazing. As of right now there is no one that comes to mind. At present I am at peace with all of my relationships... or at least as much as I can be. I know of people who I use to feel I needed to let go of but I've dealt with each situation mentally and I'm fine. This may be because I haven't met any new lovers in a while so there's nothing complicated but who knows. Maybe not. Maybe I'm just learning to sort things out as best as I can without regretting things that happen. One can only hope.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on. Oh goodness... the appropriate one would be my hair. Redheads are use to compliments and other commentary about their hair. It's something natural ones have dealt with since birth and others have dealt with since first dye. Having red hair is a statement, like it or not. I, personally, love it. But I've known nothing different. The inappropriate one that I get compliments on quite frequently is my behind. And the compliments come from both males and females.
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself
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